Jokes
- TheButcher
- Posts: 12448
- Joined: February 2nd, 2018, 11:48 am
- Title: I like weekends
- Referrals: 1
- Contact:
LOL
- TheButcher
- Posts: 12448
- Joined: February 2nd, 2018, 11:48 am
- Title: I like weekends
- Referrals: 1
- Contact:
LOL
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- Posts: 378
- Joined: May 26th, 2019, 2:01 am
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- Posts: 1322
- Joined: May 4th, 2018, 6:51 pm
Okay here is one, I will get this ball rolling again.
A company hires a new employee. The boss meets him on his first day, looks him over and decides that he's going to be a good worker.
And he was right. Starting on Monday, the new employee finished all his tasks in record time. The boss was impressed. On Tuesday he did the same. Wednesday came around and the new guy was on fire. Thursday, and the boss could already tell that the new worker was going to be a valuable asset to the company.
But on Friday, the new employee didn't come in to work. The boss rang him up and asked where he was. "I'm sick," the employee replied.
The boss was a bit disappointed, but he allowed it. "Just make sure you're here on Monday," he said.
On Monday the employee came in as usual and worked his ass off. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, the same. But on Friday, he called the boss and said "Boss, I can't come in. I'm sick."
The boss was taken aback. Sick for two Fridays in a row? But maybe the employee had a health condition, the boss decided, so he allowed it yet again.
The next week, the exact same thing happened. The new employee was a workhorse for every day of the week -- except Friday, when he called in sick. The boss decided he'd had enough.
"How come you're sick every Friday?" the boss asked.
"Do you really want to know?" the employee replied.
"Of course. You're one of my best workers and I want to know what's going on with you."
"Well," the employee began, "every Friday, I go over to my sister's house. Her husband isn't home on Fridays. Once I'm there, I have passionate, non-stop sex with her for hours."
"Oh my God," the boss stammered. "You're sick!"
"I told you I was," said the employee.
A company hires a new employee. The boss meets him on his first day, looks him over and decides that he's going to be a good worker.
And he was right. Starting on Monday, the new employee finished all his tasks in record time. The boss was impressed. On Tuesday he did the same. Wednesday came around and the new guy was on fire. Thursday, and the boss could already tell that the new worker was going to be a valuable asset to the company.
But on Friday, the new employee didn't come in to work. The boss rang him up and asked where he was. "I'm sick," the employee replied.
The boss was a bit disappointed, but he allowed it. "Just make sure you're here on Monday," he said.
On Monday the employee came in as usual and worked his ass off. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, the same. But on Friday, he called the boss and said "Boss, I can't come in. I'm sick."
The boss was taken aback. Sick for two Fridays in a row? But maybe the employee had a health condition, the boss decided, so he allowed it yet again.
The next week, the exact same thing happened. The new employee was a workhorse for every day of the week -- except Friday, when he called in sick. The boss decided he'd had enough.
"How come you're sick every Friday?" the boss asked.
"Do you really want to know?" the employee replied.
"Of course. You're one of my best workers and I want to know what's going on with you."
"Well," the employee began, "every Friday, I go over to my sister's house. Her husband isn't home on Fridays. Once I'm there, I have passionate, non-stop sex with her for hours."
"Oh my God," the boss stammered. "You're sick!"
"I told you I was," said the employee.
An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed, but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?”
The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”
The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?”
The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”
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- Posts: 745
- Joined: September 4th, 2019, 11:01 pm
A huge bouquet of red roses arrives at the office on Friday.
The red head says excitedly to her blonde friend:
"They're from my boyfriend: you know what this means? I'll be spending this entire weekend on my back with my legs in the air!"
The blonde says: "Don't you have a vase?"
The red head says excitedly to her blonde friend:
"They're from my boyfriend: you know what this means? I'll be spending this entire weekend on my back with my legs in the air!"
The blonde says: "Don't you have a vase?"